To Bugging Out

I tell Whit I am writing a series of letters to phrases that end with “out”--freaking out, shouting out--and I ask him for suggestions.

“Bugging out,” he says, without a pause.

“Like eyes? Like freaking out?”

“No, like in war, when you know something bad is about to happen and you pack up and leave immediately.”

Photos: Creek Stewart / Willow Haven Outdoor
http://news.discovery.com/adventure/survival/how-to-build-your-own-urban-survival-bug-out-bag.htm

 Lately he talks of leaving, going off to college and the sooner the better. Looking at his life, I’m not sure where the urgent sense to leave comes from. He gets steak and pizza. He has his room set up like NASA’s mission control. His dog leaps onto his bed in the morning and keeps him sleeping, just five more minutes.

We aren’t farmers getting up at 4 to tend to the livestock. We aren’t madly rushing out the door every morning so I can be on time for a train to work. We aren’t nomads; we have reliable, high-speed wifi.

Every semester, I talk with my students about when they were young and wanted to be grown-ups. They describe what they thought it meant: no one to tell you when to go to bed, cereal for dinner, staying out until whenever and just going without having to tell anyone. No one to answer to.

And now? It’s nothing like that, they admit. School. Jobs. If they stay out all night, it’s likely because they are working until 3 AM at Burger King. The manager said she understood the whole college thing and promised a good schedule. This is what she meant. Yes, cereal for dinner. Again. No other option. No one asks, when they get back to their rooms or apartments at the end of the day, “Did you have a good day?”

But homesick as they are, most don’t want to go back. This is actually what they want: the work, the struggle, to prove they can do it and figure it out, however hungry and messy and tired and smelly they are.

Leave before something bad is about to happen. Leave before you get too comfortable. Leave before you rethink your plan and notice all the flaws. Take only what you need. Only what you can carry. Leave everything else behind.