To Resolutions

I resolve to right at least one wrong this year. This will work best if it’s someone else’s wrong and I get to get all righteous, which is also a wrong and I will fix that as well. Next year.

 

I’m going to become literate in something I know nothing about. Nothing difficult, like writing code, or time consuming, like knitting, or that requires expensive equipment, like astronomy or film cameras. No, something more esoteric like Victorian cures for TB or quantum string theory.

 

 Or Netflix.

I resolve to put myself in some situation that will feel uncomfortable to the point of pain, the “uncomfort zone.” I will do this every day for a year and write about it. Oh, wait…

I resolve to eat more kale. Even if I have to batter and deep fry it and wash it down with Jack Daniels. Seriously, I am going to make healthy choices. Even if I have to make 7 unhealthy ones to get there.

I resolve to be nicer if it kills me. It will. It will totally kill me. So, if at some point in the year when I can’t take it anymore--say, February--and I do something crazy like drive to Ecuador to escape, you’ll understand.

I resolve to be more patient and empathetic and generous. I resolve to listen more and talk less. I resolve to withhold judgement until I know all the facts. I resolve to run up all the hills and walk over all the eggshells.

I will write the great American novel in NANOWRIMO and then the great American memoir in December and will follow it up with poems and then a final volume bending all the genres. Oprah will ask me to be on her show but I will be too busy.

Resolutions don’t keep themselves, you know.