To Radical Nuns

Sister Judith Marie was no one’s favorite. She was gruff and mean, though looking back, she was very sarcastic and witty; we were just dumb 7th graders. 

The day after submitting my confirmation name, she came over to my desk and bent forward, her face close enough I could see the texture on her mole, and she said, “You can NOT pick Abby. There is no Saint Abby! You have to pick Abigail.” I was so traumatized, I went with Abigail, though I would have preferred Theresa.

But Sister Judith Marie played guitar. She became the new choir director and ordered new paperback songbooks. The music was actually joyful. “Blessed Be the Lord” we sang in two parts. Sometimes we were handed bells or tambourines. She would sail around the classroom when she taught us songs, and though she didn’t have a good voice, she belted it out and freed us all to do the same. Saint Augustine said, “He who sings prays twice” and some days it felt like we prayed eight times at once.

During the last week of school, we spent our time cleaning our chairs and desks, playing games and finally, when there was nothing left to do, she would let us sit on the floor and play cards or hang out. Michael Haggin pulled out a cassette tape of Jimi Hendirx’s "Star Spangled Banner" and popped it into the cassette player we used for class. We felt like we were breaking a rule, being rebels, when Sister looks up from her desk and says, “Hendrix. Star Spangled Banner. Woodstock.” 

(Source: Allan Koss (C) Authentic Hendrix)

We clearly, unfortunately, were not breaking a rule. This was the first time I ever heard that Hendrix and knew by the sound of it, that it was counterculture. No brass. The cords all distorted but still recognizable. I remembered seeing pictures of hippies and thought this would be their music. But Sister knew it? She’s…..a…..nun.

I never looked at her the same way again. A nun who knows Jimi Hendrix. A nun who sees counterculture and it makes her happy. A nun who, though she sticks to the rules, sticks only to rules but lives most of her time in the places that don’t have rules.

Turns out, lots of Catholic nuns live there. I want to believe most of them do. They protest the Vatican’s stance on women in clergy, birth control, divorce, gay marriage. They taught me in high school that they live in a communist system, though it’s truly community and not whatever the USSR thought it was doing. That was not what Jesus taught.

Nuns are badass. And the ones you have to watch out for the most are the very round ones, whose hair tucks perfectly into their habit. They smile a lot and have glasses. They hold your hand when they first meet you. But do not mess with them. They are true believers and take Jesus at his word.